Winning The Partner Lottery
A good climbing partner will outlast romantic relationships, know how your poop smells and see you at your most scared and insecure moments. A partner is there to rein you in from doing something too dangerous and hug you when you flail. Together you get to be wild, ambitious and occasionally never even find the climb you were looking for.
WHY: Having a good climbing partner, or two, will transform your climbing. It’s hard to make consistent progress if you are trying to hustle for a different partner multiple times a week at the gym, or each day of the weekend. A group of friends is nice, too, but it won’t be the same as the reliability and trust of a partnership.
CARE AND FEEDING: Savor getting to know your climbing partner and savor them even as they become as predictable and irritating as family. Know their favorite snacks and bring them to share. Rub sunscreen on their neck and shoulders. Frame their photo and put it at the center of your altar. Non climbers won’t understand the intimacy and devotion yet I think we would all experience the world as a safer place if more people had someone’s humanity to love and trust so deeply and platonically.
AFTER: When you one day lose your climbing partner to the churning of life, you will grieve. There will be a period of vast emptiness that will feel like an existential shift in your relationship with climbing, because it’s true: that chapter of your life is gone forever. That was the one time you climbed that mountain with that one person, and even if you go back with someone new, the climb will never, ever carry the same laughter and disaster. (If you need help with this grief, let’s talk)
At the end of the day, getting a good climbing partner isn’t really a lottery. If you know what to look for in a partner, you’ll know for sure when you’ve found gold. So I made this list of what you want to be able to talk about with a potential new partner, and their answers should make you feel calm and excited about spending LOTS of time together.